


The Last Concession

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Drama, Family, Humor, M/M, Romance, Wedding Planning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 01:57:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8184700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: That was the thing about weddings, rarely were they for the people who were actually standing up there pledging their lives to one another.  He had also learned that a long time ago.





	

“I didn’t know the engagement pictures were back already.” Lucia looked at the framed pictures on the mantle. “I didn’t get any.”

“We’ve had them for a while now…I didn’t think you wanted any.” Rafael walked into the living room with two plates of chocolate cake and two cups of coffee on a tray. “Come and have dessert, mami.”

“I didn’t want any? You thought I didn’t want any?”

“Well mami, I'm not a debutante. The engagement pictures were Trevor’s idea; not that I didn’t want to do it but it was just a little thing for us.”

“Well the two you have on the mantle are lovely.” Lucia added a bit of sweetener to her coffee. “I like your sweater.”

“Trevor wanted the matching sweaters. We did look rather adorable that day.” Rafael smiled. “Here, we have a book.” He reached under the coffee table. It was cherry oak and glass with three nooks underneath. In one of the nooks was a wedding album. They started with their engagement pictures and would go all the way through the honeymoon if there was enough room. It was a black and white book with the words ‘My love’ written in gold stencil. “You can look if you’d like.”

“I would. Can I pick a few pictures that I’ll want at the house? I have your sister and brother’s pictures up, I want you and Trevor as well.”

“Um…sure mami, pick a few.”

Rafael didn’t know what else to say so he started eating his cake. Both dogs looked interested in dessert but he and Trevor had a strict no sweets policy so he ignored them. He told his mother to watch out for her plate, they could be tricky and fast.

“I thought you said these dogs had manners.” Lucia said. “They didn’t bother us much during dinner. I almost forgot they were here.”

“Dogs are like kids…they always want the things they should have the least.”

“Those aren’t just kids, Rafi.”

“So, um, you wanted to come over and talk tonight? I can say I'm a little surprised. I know we've been so busy doing last minute things for the wedding but I didn’t want you to think that I was brushing you off.”

“I wanted to come earlier but the first month back to school is always hysteria. I'm sorry I had to do this so close to the day.”

“Do what?” Rafael’s stomach dropped. 

He didn’t know what to expect from his mother. She'd been quiet all summer long about the upcoming nuptials. Family members he'd invited had actually RSVP’d so if there was tension in the family, Rafael knew nothing about it. His sister was flying in tomorrow and staying until Monday morning with his brother-in-law and nieces. His Aunt Isabelle actually asked him what kind of presents do you bring to gay weddings as if they might be different than the kind you bring to straight weddings. The Diaz clan, his mother’s family, would be small in attendance but surely mighty in making their presence known. Rafael was just happy he didn’t have pressure to invite more family.

“Well, you're my baby Rafi.” Lucia closed the photo album and took her cake plate into her lap. “Here I am with my last child getting married. My God, it took you long enough.”

“There were laws in place, mami.”

“Yes, yes,” Lucia waved away the notion as if Rafael and Trevor could've defied them and planned some guerilla gay wedding. “That’s not quite what I mean. You are so picky there was a time when I thought it would never happen. You weren't even dating…unless that was something else I didn’t know about.”

“The truth is that Trevor is the only man I've dated since the day we met.” Rafael said. “I've loved him for seven years; that’s how long it took me to get it right.”

“What happened the first time?” 

“I'm sorry?”

“I didn’t stutter, Rafael.”

“I wasn’t in the right place. Trevor and I weren't on the same page and even when you love someone you can't hold onto them if they're not where they need to be. It was my fault, not his.”

“And now it’s different?”

“It couldn’t be more different. I'm more mature, I know what I want, and I'm not afraid anymore of what anyone thinks of me.”

“Anyone like me?” Lucia asked.

“Mami, what's going on?” Rafael sipped his coffee.

“I'm proud of you, Rafael. I know I give you hell but I am. It’s strange, it always seems as if the parents are hardest on the child that’s there. It’s not always fair and I know I wasn’t always the most supportive or kind mother, but I love you.”

“I know that. I love you too.”

“And I know how much you love Trevor. It’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I'm still learning these relationship things but…”

“You don’t have to learn anything, mami.”

“Don’t interrupt me.” Lucia admonished.

“I'm sorry.”

“I'm just saying that even though I don’t understand much about same sex relationships, I can tell how much you two love each other. I don't know, I thought it would be different for you somehow. That I wouldn’t be able to see with you and Trevor what I see with couples who are men and women. I hated that I felt like it was something that I would never understand. So I just looked harder.”

“I hope you didn’t have to strain your eyes.”

“Don’t be a smarty pants. Do you know why you got your lip popped so much growing up?”

“Because I was a smartass.”

“Exactly.” Lucia pointed at him. “You and Trevor love each other very much. I see it in the way you talk to each other, look at each other, the way he reaches out for your hand or you put your arm around his seat when you’re sitting. You look at him in a way I've never seen you look at another living soul. I hate to say it but all this time I thought something was wrong with you, that something bad had happened. Why can't Rafi love, why can't he be loved? But you just wanted Trevor.”

“I did.” Rafael smiled some, nodding. “I wanted him from the moment we broke up. I knew I had to grow up; I had to change. I was lucky that he wanted to stay friends. Usually that kind of thing never happens, people always say it and then they cross the street when they see you coming. 

“Not Trevor. He stood by me even though I hurt him. And when I was finally ready he let me come home. Mami, I'm lucky. I am so damned lucky.”

“I'm happy for you, Rafael. I didn’t want you to get married thinking that I wasn’t. I know that this hasn’t always been easy, this mother and son thing. But I want nothing but the best for you; for you and Trevor.”

“Thank you.”

“Where is he anyway? I would think you two wouldn’t want to be apart this week.”

“He had a badminton game and then dinner with his partner. We’ll be together tomorrow and then the wedding is on Friday evening. I thought it would be good for him to get one last workout in before we completely overindulge on our honeymoon.”

“Two weeks away…that is going to be so expensive.” Lucia said.

“Yes it is, but I wasn’t thinking about money. Work keeps us so busy, so stressed, I wanted to take this time away and focus on nothing but the two of us. It’s a surprise; Trevor doesn’t even know where we’re going.”

“I'm sure he’ll be thrilled to just be with you.”

“Mami, are you really OK with this? I love Trevor and nothing on earth will stop me from marrying him and spending the rest of my life with him. But I…”

“You don’t need my approval, Rafi, you're a grown man.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“I am. Because you're not going to be alone anymore, and you're not going to be lonely. I may be ignorant to a lot of things but I've never been ignorant to your happiness. You have a great job and lovely friends but I knew there was something, something I couldn’t reach and work out. Trevor has done that. As a mother how could I ever deny you that happiness? Just promise me that you're alright.”

“I'm fine.” Rafael smiled.

“Are you nervous?”

“Yes. It’s not that I don’t want to do this, I want to marry Trevor very much. I've just never been one to be so public with this kind of thing. I would've been just as content at a Justice of the Peace.”

“Oh no, it has to be a priest.” Lucia said.

“Trevor isn't Catholic, mami.”

“It’s OK, we’re all Catholic enough for the both of you.”

That was true. His maternal grandparents had been diehard Catholics. They passed it on to all of their children and they passed it down to theirs. Even his sister, who wasn’t the most fervent churchgoer he knew, was still a Catholic. Her kids went to Catholic schools, she had Catholic saints in her home; she took the ideology of the religion seriously even if she didn’t agree with all the tenets.

“A wedding is important, Rafi. You have to be joined in front of God. I don’t know what he thinks of all this gay marriage but that’s for him to decide, not me. It’s important that he's part of this day; it’s a blessed day.”

“I know.”

Rafael was agnostic on his best day and he didn’t have a lot of best days when it came to religion. He'd spent all his young life in the church, fearful of God and even more fearful of priests and nuns. His prayers as a child, to be rich and to have his father die, were selfish and horrible. He punished himself far more than God ever could. Until he realized he had feelings for boys, then he knew he was going to burn in the pits of hell. 

It was strange to him that church emphasized more things that were punished than things that were pious. He felt Catholicism was negative and he had enough negative in his life to last three lifetimes. But his mother had insisted on a priest, which hadn’t been that difficult to do, and Rafael allowed her this one concession. That was the thing about weddings, rarely were they for the people who were actually standing up there pledging their lives to one another. He had also learned that a long time ago.

“I'm glad that you're going to be there.” He reached out for his mother’s hand. “I know a lot of this hasn’t been easy for you but…”

“Why are you so concerned about me?” Lucia asked.

“You're my mother.”

“I am.” She nodded. “But you're a man now and a man does what he needs to do in order to be happy. That doesn’t always coincide with what his mother wants.”

“You don’t have to tell me that.” Rafael shook his head a bit.

“I think you're going to be fine. You have a good husband, a nice house, a good job…I did the best that I could. It’s not all for my understanding but I'm always going to be proud of you. And I want engagement and wedding pictures for the house because I'm proud of you, Rafael. Lo has hecho muy bien.”

“Thank you, mami.” 

He tried to ignore the pain in his chest, didn’t want to cry in front of his mother. The last time she said that to him was when he graduated from law school. Rafael didn’t want to think that his mother wasn’t proud of him, but Lucia Barba had never been easy to please. She didn’t have the best life and she worked long and hard to make sure her children were different. All had been successful in their own ways but if asked they would all say mom had been hard on them. 

Combined with the awful relationship Rafael had with his father and that his maternal grandparents thought he was an angel, it wasn’t difficult to think that nothing he could do would ever please her. That went double for falling in love and marrying a man. At first she only begrudgingly accepted news of his engagement. She couldn’t find a thing wrong with Trevor though Rafael was sure she'd tried. Then she read her books and had her gay friend and started to accept that her son wasn’t a heterosexual and that was OK. 

Good people could be bisexual too. Now this. Rafael had no idea how to react. Two days until the wedding and now this. Lucia always found a way to make herself and her declarations the center of attention. At least this time it was with well-intentioned words and not words that wounded.

“I should get you an Uber.” Rafael picked up his phone from the coffee table just as the key turned in the front door lock. “I don’t want you getting back to The Bronx too late.”

“Well I'm working tomorrow but I'm off Friday for the wedding. Everyone will be at my house getting ready. You should come, Rafi. It might sound silly with two men walking down the aisle but you don’t want Trevor to see your nice suit before the big moment. Come, we’ll play the old records, eat a little, and be together as a family.”

“Maybe I will.” He smiled as his fingers worked over the keys as he set up a ride to come to his building.

Trevor walked into the condo smiling. Lieutenant Dan was on him and Blanche followed suit.

“Hello, sweet little puppies.” Trevor crouched down to love the dogs. “Were you good today; did you leave doggie destruction in your wake?”

Blanche barked happily, always satisfied with a little destruction. Trevor stood, walked into the living room, and smiled at Rafael and his mother.

“Lucia, it’s so good to see you.” He bent down for a kiss and a hug.

“You as well, Trevor. Rafi tells me that you play badminton now.”

“I've been doing it for three weeks and it’s a workout like you wouldn’t believe. No wonder it’s the second most played sport in the world. Its popularity in Asia in astounding. We actually play with Olympic equipment and by Olympic rules. Hey babe.” He leaned and kissed Rafael. Rafael stroked his face.

“How was dinner?” Rafael asked.

“We had sushi. It was delicious. What did you two have?”

“Rafi made spaghetti.” Lucia replied. “We were actually just talking about him coming to the house on Friday and getting ready for the wedding with the family. It might be a nice thing to do before marrying him off.”

“Oh, yeah, what an interesting idea.” Trevor sat down in his favorite easy chair. In less than a minute, Lieutenant Dan was in his lap.

“I gave her a solid maybe. Mami, your Uber will be here in about 15 minutes. Do you want to finish that coffee?”

“I don’t want to be up all night, Rafi.”

“Its half-caff so you shouldn’t be. Go on, it’s been chilly this week, it'll be good for you.”

“Well if you insist.” Lucia smiled and drank her coffee.

Rafael smiled at Trevor and started to gather their dessert dishes. He wanted to clean up so that after his mother left they could walk the dogs and then relax. Tomorrow would be a really busy day and then Rafael would be out of the world of Manhattan for two whole weeks. He intended for it to be the two best weeks of his life.

***

“Are you naked?” Rafael asked as he turned off his electric toothbrush.

“Yes.”

“Oh thank God. Are you lying in bed like you're on a platter, ready to be eaten alive?”

“I'm watching the weather. Can you believe it’s going to rain on Friday?”

“In some cultures, rain on your wedding day is good luck. I read that somewhere but don’t know if it’s true.”

“I just don’t want it to be dreary.” Trevor said.

“You and I are getting married, mi amor, nothing can be dreary about that.”

“Your mom seemed pleased when I came in this evening. Did you two have a nice dinner together?”

“We did.” Rafael wiped his mouth, looked at himself in the mirror, and smoothed his hands over his growing stubble. It was going to look good on Friday night. He walked back into the bedroom and smiled at Trevor. “She told me she was proud of me.”

“Really?” Trevor asked.

“Yes. She said she was proud of me and expressed that she wanted us to be happy together. She also wanted some engagement pictures to hang up at the house.”

“Wow.”

“I know.” Rafael pulled the blanket back and got into bed. It had been chilly and rainy all week, feeling much more like late October than late September. The air conditioner was off and the lovers loved cuddling under blankets with the dogs. Tonight Blanche and Lieutenant Dan were both in the bed. Rafael didn’t mind one bit. This was family; this was bliss. “I hardly knew what to say. I almost cried when she told me I'd done quite well.”

“I've never had any doubt that your mother loves you.” Trevor leaned to kiss his cheek. “She just has her own way of trying to express it.”

“She wants us to be happy; she knows how happy you make me.”

“Does she know how happy you make me?”

“I'm sure she thinks you're slumming.” Rafael smirked.

“You might be Upper West Side by way of South Bronx, but you're still Upper West Side, babe.”

“Would you still love me if I worked for some non-profit law outfit on Jerome Avenue?” Rafael asked.

“Madly.” Trevor replied. “Not a damn thing would change, except we’d be in the Chelsea condo, and your suits might come from Today’s Man and not Bergdorf’s.”

“I’d shoot my foot off before I ever walked into a Today’s Man.”

They both laughed, Trevor kissed him again. He was such an adorable little snob and Trevor loved him so much. It wouldn’t matter where they worked or when they met, they were meant to be. It might sound corny as hell, and sometimes it did, but Trevor was sure of it. He’d been sure of it after dating Rafael for just a few months. 

The first time around for them had been hectic but the same love was there. They were just at different places in their lives, Rafael wasn’t ready for something like that. Trevor had no doubt that he was now. They had talked about it together and in couple’s therapy. Now was the right time.

“Two more days.” Rafael sang as he put his head on Trevor’s shoulder.

“I can't believe we’re so close.” Trevor muted the TV, started flipping channels. “Any last words?”

Rafael just smiled, cuddling closer. They didn’t need words right now. Words were good, they used words all day in their jobs. Right now he just wanted to be close and feed off each other’s energy. He wanted to take the good things his mom said and feel them deep in his stomach along with Trevor’s arm around him. 

He wanted to find something on TV to watch for a half hour or so before a little hanky panky and a good night’s rest. They could talk tomorrow; of course they would talk tomorrow. Surely they would talk for the rest of their lives. Tonight Rafael would just be quiet and hold on.

***


End file.
